Defying Gravity In My 40's

Thanks, Elphie.

“Unlimited.”

Last week my family and I obnoxiously adorned ourselves in pink and green, and packed out three rows in the theater to see the film adaptation of Wicked, starring Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande. Confession: I’d never seen Wicked prior to this. Yes, it was in production in Chicago for years. And yes, I walked past hundreds of billboards and signs in Chicago’s theatre district, and wondered about the gripping image of a witch dressed in white whispering into the ears of a witch with green skin, but my strict Christian upbringing wouldn’t let me go beyond wondering. It wasn’t until recent years I learned that Wicked is the prequel to The Wizard of Oz, which I’ve yet to see, unless The Wiz counts. If it does, I’ve seen The Wiz plenty of times. However, the Wicked story and Elphaba’s character in particular is new to me, but served as fuel. As Elphaba flies above and away from people’s expectations of her, I empathize with her. I too, know what it’s like to be a woman intentionally choosing to defy gravity. Especially now that I’m in my 40’s. 

I turned 40-years-old in June. I wish I didn’t have to be dramatic and say that everything is changing, but my dear cousins, everything actually is… changing. Last week I was honored by Hustle Mommies, along with 99 other moms in Chicago. I walked into the DuSable Museum alone while my husband parked the car. I stepped into the V.I.P. section rocking a candy green dress, white boots, and deep plum lipstick. I felt good about how I looked and when I casually walked up to a table to greet a few familiar faces, I realized I was different. The girl who constantly had anxious thoughts of randomly tripping while walking or struggled with being rejected was nowhere to be found. Instead, a confident woman showed up. I don’t know where she came from, but she showed up just for me and she just happens to be...me. That’s different. My thoughts are changing. I’m more careful of what I say, instead of recklessly blurting out the first thought that comes to mind. The way I perceive myself is changing. The way I approach business is changing. No more hoping and wishing for success. It’s all about intentional growth these days. It’s all changing, but in the midst of the shift, one thing remains: my intentional, bold choice to defy gravity. As much as I’m thriving in the wisdom that comes with your 40’s, I’d be remiss if I don’t share the struggles.

The 40’s are where you’re expected to have life somewhat figured out. That comes along with owning a home, a few cars, and maybe having a few children. You should be well along in your career with a growing 401k as proof. The hustle isn’t as intense anymore, because you conquered it in your 20’s. You should be able to coast in your 40’s, while beginning to anticipate retirement. 

And then there’s me. Defying gravity. I could say 40 is where it all began for me, but that isn’t entirely true. 40 is where it began and continued. I didn’t arrive at 40, but my God I have arrived. While society expects me to be in the thick of my career, I’m just getting started. I still believe and I’m working like it. I’m still planting seeds and I anticipate a beautiful harvest. You won’t find me on anyone’s “40 Under 40’s” list, but I lead the pack for the “40 over 40’s” list of folks who found their footing “later” in life. We are living boldly and courageously, unbound by traditional age norms and I love that for us. 

For the ones having babies for the first time in their 40’s. May we continue to defy gravity.

For the ones buying their first home in their 40’s. May we continue to defy gravity.

For the ones starting a business in their 40’s. May we continue to defy gravity. 

For the ones finding true love in their 40’s. May we continue to defy gravity. 

For the ones who are flying above society’s expectations and doing it their way. May we continue to defy gravity.

Your Favorite Cousin,

Nikki